Vintage wisdom from the pages of Playboy magazine, 1969. Reading this, it’s no wonder guys are so messed up. Just look at the sexually-charged propaganda we’ve been feeding ourselves for years. The article is actually hilarious in retrospect, and paints a pretty shallow picture of us guys as simple-minded children with one thing on their mind– getting their sticky little fingers on the prize in a Cracker Jack box. The writing is so ridiculously laced with sexual innuendo that no girl sitting in any position would stand a fighting chance against a horn-dog armed with this article. Gotta love what they call the poor gal that doesn’t cross her legs when seated– the “Philanthropist”, she’s comfortable with herself and everyone else… Keep reading for more laughs, and legs.
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Playboy magazine, The Language of Legs
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Playboy magazine, The Language of Legs
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Playboy magazine, The Language of Legs
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Playboy magazine, The Language of Legs, 1969
The ubiquity of minis and micros has produced for confirmed girl watchers an abundant display of lower limbs —a utopian leggy domain that’s a far and happy cry from the days when “a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking.” Now, thanks to a unique study by clinical psychologist John A. Blazer, what was only a pleasant pastime is also a useful science. How a girl disposes her legs when seated can instantly signal your most effective approach. Of the prevalent leg positions displayed on these pages, pay particular attention to the Schemer and the Philanthropist. According to Dr. Blazer, if the former dangles one shoe, she’s a delightfully incurable flirt, a veritable study in come-hitherness. But keep cool—the girl doesn’t always intend to deliver. The Philanthropist, however, digs talking and reading about sex and is apt to seek numerous love affairs, as she prefers constant sexual excitement. But we suggest you take note of them all; the next seated chick you meet may turn out to be a sitting duck for your romantic wiles.
Organizer: Neatness and order turn her on. Uncertainty bugs her, so proffer a definite date plan and stick to it. If she’s sitting pigeon-toed, she lacks confidence; build up her ego and she’ll do the same for you.
Schemer: Though outwardly well balanced, she actually feels threatened by men. This girl is ambitious and competitive. Gently challenge her to a game of gin rummy and manage to lose—you’ll win the bigger game.
Conformist: If you spot her at a party, head determinedly but quietly for her chair; she likes being told what to do, but doesn’t like to attract attention. A slow starter, once committed, she’s wholeheartedly yours.
Perfectionist: Concerned with impressions, she’s apt to be insecure and overly anxious. She sincerely enjoys helping others, so have a problem and tell her about it. When her sympathy becomes aroused, so does she.
Social Worker: She shares many traits with the Perfectionist but is even more selfless. Act helpless and she becomes affectionate and generous. If you indicate you really need her, she’ll put your interests ahead of hers.
Emancipated Woman: Independent and unconventional, she’s the epitome of the “new girl.” She digs her freedom, up-to-date fashion and faraway places. The Out Islands are in—take her there and you’ll be, too.
Philanthropist: Warm, easygoing and good humored, she’s comfortable with herself and everyone else. This romantic has a lot to give and she gives it freely. But don’t try to tie her down—she’s a lover of all men.
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The Selvedge Yard 
oh goodie, I’m a Perfectionist (and insecure to boot!)
Well, that’s the best of the bunch!
Awesome post!
Amazing. Who knew so much was written on the way a woman sits? I like how absolutely none of the ‘types’ should be avoided god help the teenager who read this article back in the day…
A sage I know says that a young woman’s best defense against the male sex drive is I.B.S.
What’s amusing is the people who consider themselves so sophisticated and the article so naive. In fact, the writer hits the nail right on the head. By the way, do men really think about anything else?
Great article – and just shows how times have changed.
I find it funny that guys would need to be told these things. Though most guys will look at a woman’s legs for nothing more than beautiful legs.
Shaun, guys need to be told everything. But this is truly bad advice. You can’t judge a woman by how she sits, no more than you can judge a guy by how he looks.
Well isn’t this just what women’s magazines like Cosmopolitan mostly consist of today? Many men’s magazines gave ‘gentleman’s tips’ back then, and I yearn for those times. I wish there was a niche magazine that could recreate the visual and literal world of the 60s-70s. It would be refreshing to read an actual pastiche rather than browse archives. Any idea whether there are any 21st century publications for male readers that include advice similar to such given in women’s magazines?
I can’t stop looking at that first picture.
Indeed, she is lovely, as are her legs, so perfectly punctuated by those barely-there shoes which turn her feet into something surprisingly erotic.
I also dig the groovy jacket her gentleman friend is wearing, man.
Hmm, interesting post. Quite funny
Lord…..
wonderful, wonderful blog and great post.
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actually, body language means a lot.
I don’t think that magazine is so far off.
That was pretty accurate actually, like my horoscope.
I remember this article from my Dad’s collection of playboys, even then I knew it was b.s. the real lesson here is to approach anyone you are attracted to. And, if you think you’ve got an advantage because you’ve read this asinine article then the confidence it creates no matter how misguided will work because you said hello.
Hef was a nerdy geek, but he figured out acting like you have stones is all anybody really does at first… And yeah I get a lot of action. Haven’t read a playboy since puberty.
I love your blog, had to be said. Apparently, I’m ‘The Schemer’. Interesting. Haha.
Where is the rest of the mag, the part that requires no reading?
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